the truth was in the courtroom someplace...but no-one was spending much time searching for it...they were busy manufacturing simulacrums designed to bring the jury around to their way of thinking so they would achieve their desired outcome...since i was on the jury ( and was made the foreman because my fellow jurors were unwilling to read a guilty verdict in open court...whiners) i was part of the focus of all this subtle and not so subtle manipulation...half-truths, lies by omission, distortions, outright untruths, surreal moments...all of life was there to see...i've never been on a jury before so i naively thought that if i sifted through the information dilligently enough i could find it...no such luck...so many contradictions..even in testimony taken from witnesses at different times over the course of the investigation..."experts", or professionals anyway, disagreeing about facts and interpretations of events...sloppy police work...a defendant who was combative and something less than forthcoming...neighbors with grudges to settle...inept prosecutors and a weak case for the state ( a singularly surreal moment came when a member of the prosecution asked a veterinarian's assistant if a gunshot wound was consistent with wounds from a dogfight...dogs are arming themselves with colt .380's? time to do something about stricter dog licensing)...an oleagenous defense attorney, strongly reminicent of everett dirksen... in the end no-one was believable...no-one deserved to be believed...they all had an agenda and the truth was in the way of their achievement of it...it had to go...bludgeoned, battered, stunned, dazed, fatigued, and pissed off the jury split the verdict...no-one would tell the truth so no-one got entirely what they wanted...i have to say that the judge and the bailiffs were very considerate people who did their best...i wouldn't want to leave you with the impression that i thought poorly of them as people...or the lawyers, witnesses, and even the defendant for that matter...i really don't know them...but the entire system is an exercise in truth avoidance and dissembling for a purpose...so plainly obvious that i felt insulted and used...i am smarter than that people.
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