12-25-2010

okay...what was a rumination on the transitory nature of life turned into a self-absorbed pity party...i realized that almost as soon as i posted it and came back to delete it ( once again forgetting has not ended) and damned if someone hadn't read it already and so i feel obligated to own up to writing it...much of my adult life has been a search for some sort of permanence to anchor my addictive self to and offset the extremes i can go to...what passes for permanent isn't...always slips away...transitory...like happiness...so...no more whining about it...none of this will last...none of us lasts...i have known this since i was ten and life insists on reminding me...THAT is what wearies me so...beckett was correct...i can't go on, i'll go on.